The truth is... I have no idea.
I'm 20 years old and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I know I want to do something amazing. We only get one ride around on this earth and I want to make an impact. Ok so I know I'm not going to discover something amazing like Benjamin Franklin did with electricity; or touch souls like F. Scott Fitzgerald did with her writing. Even if I just impact the lives of the few people I personally know- that'll be enough. Like Gus writes in TFIOS: "People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely".
I've always been told that I don't have to figure out what I want to be yet. But I can feel time slipping through my fingers and I am no closer to figuring it out. All I know is I am working in a job that I hate, I'm wishing the weeks away so that I can have the weekend and I am deeply unhappy with the life I'm leading at the moment. I don't even have a circle of friends that I can talk to about it because I'm growing distant with all of them. The majority have gone away to university and have new friends so they're not making any effort with me.
Why can't I have some crazy talent like singing that makes it obvious of the path I should go down? Why is it so hard? Does anybody else feel like this?
Signing off, Lauren
xoxo
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