Is adulthood all that it's cracked up to be?

When I was younger the idea of growing up excited me.

When I'm older I can drive a car. When I'm older I can go to work and make my own money. When I'm older nobody can tell me what to do. When I'm older I can date.

Yeah sure, the freedom of being able to drive is great. Everything else? Not as good as I always thought it would be.

The girls at work are nice; but it's so hard to motivate myself to get out of bed every morning at 6 for a job that I'm not in love with, to earn money that I'll spend trying to impress people I don't care about.

No matter how old you are- you will ALWAYS have somebody telling you what to do. Whether it's your boss, a family member or a friend... It never stops. You do have more freedom to say 'no' to people when you're older but generally I do tend to do as I'm told (especially by my boss because I don't fancy getting fired).

Lastly, dating is so much more hassle than it's worth. It's so hard to meet a guy that is all of the following things:

• Single
• Straight
• Attractive
• Kind
• Funny

It's literally like mission impossible. But if you are lucky enough to meet this man then generally there will be something in the way; like distance or an interfering mother. Or if you're me then they turn out to be extremely obsessive and possibly even slightly psychotic *insert double thumbs up here*.

It doesn't completely suck though. 

Of course though, being an adult does have some perks.

Like clubbing for example. Every Friday as I'm driving home I turn on the Radio and a catchy song starts me bobbing in my seat and tapping my steering wheel like a drum making me want to go dancing. Picture a primary school disco only with drunk people and the strong likelihood you'll wake up with a headache and sore feet-not completely remembering your night but knowing it was so much fun.

Being an adult means being independent. You finally don't have to rely on your Mum's permission to go somewhere (only downside is the 'Mum said I can't go' is no longer a viable excuse to swerve that person you don't want to see). 

I'm 20 years old and I haven't got this whole 'adult' thing figured out. My parents are 45 and they haven't got this 'adult' thing figured out. Honestly I don't believe that anybody has it figured out but we drift through doing the best we can. 

If you think you've got it figured out then tell me your secret. I want to know.

Thank you for reading.

Signing off, Lauren 

xoxo

What am I doing with my life?

The truth is... I have no idea.

I'm 20 years old and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I know I want to do something amazing. We only get one ride around on this earth and I want to make an impact. Ok so I know I'm not going to discover something amazing like Benjamin Franklin did with electricity; or touch souls like F. Scott Fitzgerald did with her writing. Even if I just impact the lives of the few people I personally know- that'll be enough. Like Gus writes in TFIOS: "People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely".  


I've always been told that I don't have to figure out what I want to be yet. But I can feel time slipping through my fingers and I am no closer to figuring it out. All I know is I am working in a job that I hate, I'm wishing the weeks away so that I can have the weekend and I am deeply unhappy with the life I'm leading at the moment. I don't even have a circle of friends that I can talk to about it because I'm growing distant with all of them. The majority have gone away to university and have new friends so they're not making any effort with me. 


Why can't I have some crazy talent like singing that makes it obvious of the path I should go down? Why is it so hard? Does anybody else feel like this?


Signing off, Lauren 

xoxo